1.6.06

Form or Funk-tion?


Toilet paper is referred to as sh*t tickets in the Prego household.

Paper towels are... well, paper towels.

In either case we cheap out. We get the supermarket brand sh*t tickets and the supermarket brand paper towels. Why pay premium price for something that's going to be jammed in your *ss and soiled? Also, why pay through the nose for something that's just going to wipe up spills, messes and dust?


Roundtabler Stephen V. Funk takes a cheeky glace at the myriad of available designs and the foibles of consumerism. You've got your floral patterns, your cartoon characters, your redneck sports logos...

Until they come up with a print that resembles the Shroud of Turin, I'm sticking with the cheap, sh*tty white ones.

10 comments:

AverageMom said...

The newest designer trend: Black toilet paper. Seriously.

archshrk said...

I get both from my local Costco and am satisfied with the price and quality.

I just have to get creative as to where to store 48 rolls of TP and 24 rolls of PT

Pickalish said...

Nothin' touches this ass unless it's Charmin....well, either that or has a really sexy smile. =)

Tracie said...

I'm with you on that one!

Here via Michele!

Iniard Watch said...

We buy our paper consumables in the utmost frugality. Sam's Club 60 rolls for $13.... that equates to a rate of almost free per sh#@ ticket. Besides you get too many breakthroughs with Charmin.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Well, to be quite crude, Prego..My ass needs something really soft or I am in deep trouble! (Draw your own disgusting conclusions...) I'm happy to pay more so that I have a soft caressing TP on my poor overworked tush! So, sue me, my dear...Paper Toweling? Similar...I wash my hands a tremenodous amount--(Doctors Orders!)..so I need "soft" on my hands, too...SOFT costs more, I'm sorry to say, but it's worth it to me! I'm happy for you that you don't need to cater to your tushy in that way....
Oh..and it looks like I skipped you at Michele's, but I didn't, my dear...Hear I Am!

Carmi said...

Nancy Walker's been dead for, oh, a generation. I always tell my wife this as I reach for the no-name brand. It's like toilet paper: why spend the dough if it's only going to get crapped on?

Those national brand vendors really have us bitch-slapped, don't they? We seem to believe that spending more on every conceivable consumer product will make us better, prettier or happier.

Right. I'm going to enjoy my no-name Cheerios. Or whatever they call 'em.

As always, you provoke thought. Thanks!

surcie said...

Shroud of Turin papertowels? Dude! You better copyright that or something!

jennypenny said...

Haha too funny. I actually saw a toilet paper truck on the highway the other day and the phone number on the side was something like "for more info call 1-800-bum-puff". I laughed so hard i almost crashed my car!

Here from Michele's

glomgold said...

I don't think I could wipe my ass with something that had a face on it, so no 'Shroud of Turin' brand TP for me.
I can't take that industrial grade TP nor the 'pils in yer ass' kind either, so something in between is ok. Middle of the road is always good for us wishy-washy types.