There were two things I promised myself when I started having children:
One - That they would never have to refer to me as "my real dad," or "my weekend dad." and
Two - That I would answer all of their questions as accurately and truthfully as I can.
Promise number one is pretty easy. All I have to do is weather the slings and arrows their mommy occasionally unleashes, but number two can be downright taxing; particularly when they hit their inquisitive stride at age 3. Needless to say, on occasion you have to resort to "I don't know, buddy. I really don't know." Usually, I give the O-Dog the old "Winter solstice is when the Earth tilts so the sun's rays don't hit the earth as directly..." treatment but I'll have to say the other day he stumped me.
A friend of mine gave me Alex Ross' Mythology since I'm into art. The O-Dog is into superheroes lately, so my wife sat with him to thumb through it.
O-Dog Who's this, mommy?
Mom That's Wonder Woman.
O-Dog Oh. Wonder Woman. This is Wonder Woman, daddy.
Me That is Wonder Woman, Rock.
O-Dog (Pause) What is she wondering?
Of course we had a good laugh at this, in a "cute things little bastards say" vein. But then I pondered the dozens of possible answers I could give him, as if any man could ever do so.
- "She's wondering if her her butt looks big in that outfit."
- "She's wondering if she should get a breast reduction."
- "She's wondering if that cow Sue Richards is hotter than she is."
- "She's wondering if she should give up her career and start thinking about a family."
- "She's wondering whether or not she should trade in the invisible jet and get a something a little more sensible (in case she does settle down and start a family)."
- "She's wondering if she came across a bit too bitchy at the last Justice League meeting."
- "She's wondering if it would be "un-superheroine" to get a tasty belly-button ring."
- "She's wondering if she really needs another pair of shoes..."
- "She's wondering if she's "settling" for Aquaman, or if Superman will ever come around.
- "She's wondering if she makes as much money as Batman. And if not, why the $#@* not?!