27.7.06

Forever Young




Motor City's Atul, pictured here, hosts this week's roundtable on his Things I've Noticed blog. He came across an article or two about scientists' quest to prolong this agony we call life. Would it be worthwhile to live forever?

Personally, I says (sic) "F*ck no." These organs were designed to conk out after seventy or so years, if not sooner. Think about it... Your anus would be redder than China's flag after 140-plus years of defecation. Your teeth would be down to the nub after (a) grinding them in your sleep, thinking about the fact that you have to go in to the same f*cking job you've hated for going on 112 years and (b) all that corn on the cob you have to gnaw on to keep yourself regular.

Not to mention the worn cartilage in your knees, your brittle toenails, erectile dysfunction and/or Saharan-esque love canal...

As my brother and I like to say, "If I see the Grim Reaper approaching, I'll cross the street." I'd like to stick around at least until O-Dog and Fletchmonster have to wipe my ass... but all good things come to an end. Unless you're a rock star, in which case you are not only entitled to live forever, but must continue to rock eternally to satisfy the cravings of a loyal and supportive audience.

"Look, baby... Mick Jagger's still got it at 136. Wooo! Sing 'Brown Sugar!' Show him your tits, honey."

(Thump)

"Aaack... Get 'em off the floor! Get 'em off the FLOOR!"

3 comments:

~A~ said...

*LMAO* "Get 'em off the floor!"

I would have to agree with you. I'd rather age naturally and expire when my time is up. Again, like you, when the clonies are all grown and have to change my diaper. I changed baby butts for 8 years straight, so I think they owe me.

And after 8 years they can pack my poopy butt up the mountain and leave me because I don't want to stick around here where some bleeding heart might try to prolong my life any longer with the cells of dead babies.

Atul said...

Was that a reference to that great Alphaville song from the 80's?

glomgold said...

The good thing is since I have no kids I can drop dead any time! Sweet.
Mid 70s sounds about right to me. 80 is really pushing the limits.
I'm checking the music links out right now.