Dirty Laundry

Mrs. P and I have a lot of "difference of opinion" issues. I, for one, cannot stand television, particularly Rachel Ray shows or where OR scrubs are part of the wardrobe. Actually, we have a lot of "wardrobe" issues. For instance, I think she could show a bit of those nice Mrs. P gams or cleavage once in a while, rather than the modestly conservative garb she dons. I like to have the kids dress a little "edgy," where as she thinks the jeans with the torn knees that O-Dog refers to as his punk rock pants make us look poor if he wears them to kindergarten (not that we aren't).

One of the most frequent events in which we find ourselves at loggerheads concerns the laundry process itself. On more than one occasion, Mrs. P has gone off on a tirade because I have left either a fountain pen or a crayon in my pants, thus causing an entire load of wash to be sullied with ink or wax.

Now, I'm not one to lead a gift horse to water. I appreciate that she actually does 98% of the wash (another sore subject). However, I do tend to think that ultimate responsibility to "dummy check" the pockets lies with the last person to handle the clothes before they are put into the washing machine -- especially when the owner of the pants is an absent-minded dumb*ss like myself. Mrs. P disagrees.

Apparently, those polled are almost equally divided on the issue. I'm going to stand by my opinion; entrench myself is more like it - in ankle deep piles of spotty underwear.


Carrie said...

If I were her, I would just wash your laundry with your laundry. So if you just happen to leave something in the pockets, it will only mess up your clothes.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you, Mr. P. Part of doing laundry is the dummy check. Just makes sense knowing you can't really control what the dirty-laundry-creators are doing. Just like I always check the lint trap, even though it is clear 99% of the time.

~A~ said...

LAUNDRY! My favorite topic.

I'm split. Yes a dummy check is part of the job, but dumbass husbands need to help out by clearing out their own pockets.

Then again, if it wasn't for unchecked pockets I wouldn't get the hundreds of dollars every year that I get to spend at Starbucks.

Laundry money is my slush fund.

*T* said...

I am not split like ~A~........I think its the dummy needs to check his own pants. I have to check all the kids pockets..why do an adults.

And I have to disagree with your pie chart. Did you ask a lot of men or women?!? The %'s are TOTALLY skewed!! *snort*

~A~ said...

No, *T* I think if you look at the damage to your clothing items caused by the dumbass that left the crayon or inkpen in HIS pants, then it's our job as laundry wench to check the dumbasses pockets, because after all, they're husbands and dumbasses.

But if the dumbass wants to avoid the wrath of the laundry wench, then he should check his own pockets. Other wise he just needs to shut the f*ck up and take the tongue lashing.

*T* said...

Wll ~A~ what I want to know is why does the dummy has a frickin CRAYON in HIS pants?!?!?! What are the dummies doing with that?!?! And CHAPSTICK......how many guys wear frickin CHAPSTICK!?!?! And shouldn't pen's be kept in shirt pockets?!?!

Carrie is right.........the dummies laundry should be washed together in one big swoop......skidmarks and darks.....all together. Let them wear red polka dotted undies from the CRAYON left in their pockets!

~A~ said...

Seriously, you're going to wait around for dumbass to create a load of laundry when you can just throw the few items he has in with the load you're already washing?

I don't see it happening. If you're washing darks and he has a pair of jeans you're gonna toss them in.

As to why he has a crayon, I don't know. Actually, I don't want to know.

Prego said...

Carrie - I've suggested that, but she said that separating by colours and owners is a ridiculous amount of work.

jj - Thank you. You've got to check those lint traps. Pubes are highly flammable.

T & A - (haw-haw) - I do my best to check my own pants, but a lot of times I wear my jeans so often they kind of crawl into the hamper on their own.

As for the crayons, there's a logical explanation. Crayon and wall is the Fletch's favourite medium. I usually have to put the kibosh on his Diego Rivera-esque murals by confiscating the crayon. Usually I just put it in my pocket so I can put it away later... or until Mrs. P finds it dissolved into her favourite sweater.

Carrie said...

I love the conversation between T&A. They had me rolling.

I do my laundry and Adam does his own. Now I don't know what will happen when we have kids.

keda said...

ok... so i am a gurl. but someone else does my laundry most of the time (i love turkey), and i have to say i check my own pockets. and i'm a dumbarse.

but luckily being a gurl, i rarely have anything in them. i have pretty handbags for that.

so my thoughts are two hands are better than one. though either one will do the job.