La Mort Seule du Jennifer Strange

Last week I walked into the O-Dog's bedroom, where I found the Fletchmonster sitting atop the computer table near the fish tank. The Fletchmonster has taken a liking to throwing Hot Wheels™ cars into it lately, despite being told numerous times to stay away from it. I noticed, much to my horror, that the lid was pushed aside and the tank's light fixture sat precariously on the edge.


I grabbed the Fletchmonster quickly and chided him for playing with the tank. Inside, my stomach sank at the horrifying thought that the Fletchmonster might have prematurely met his maker by electrocution. As I fought the urge to retch, I quickly dug in the drawers for tape to affix the tank's lid - thus Fletchproofing it.

One of any parents' worst fears is to have a kid check out before you. It would suck to no end. Sh*t like diseases you just can't help sometimes. What are you going to do if the kid comes out of the chute with some ungodly sickness?

You expend time and energy to instill self-preservation to your offspring, which is why the demise of Jennifer Strange is so... so.... um... (insert opinion here).

Homegirl drank two gallons of some "fine quality H2O." Was it to end world hunger? Was it to protest the war in Iraq? Was it to save a kitten from drowning? Such nobility was absent in this scenario.

Her cause? A free Nintendo Wii game to turn her three kids into vidiots. I'd be willing to bet her kids would rather have Chutes & Ladders or Mousetrap, if it meant having a mother with a pulse.

Morning radio is chock-full of insipid contests. There's the classic "pregnant chick in a bikini" contest, some idiotic scavenger hunt or another way to demean yourself to win some cheap prize in our ongoing quest to get something for nothing.

As the old saying goes, "It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye."

Ms. Strange lost something a little more than that. Worse yet, she gave her mother the displeasure of finding her lifeless on the bathroom floor.

I'm not going to be insensitive with a joke (such as What do Jennifer Strange and Mr. Limpit have in common?) I truly feel for her loss. I remembered attending my friend Ron's funeral about ten or so years ago. He was a funny talented artist/musician... took a bad drug and turned himself into a near vegetable. He decided to kill himself by setting himself ablaze. At the funeral, I looked over at his mother, whose burnt hands were bandaged from trying to put him out and I began to cry uncontrollably. His mom was crying as well.

As the lawyers start gearing up for the "No, f*ck you, it's your fault" debate, let's pour out a 12oz. bottle of Perrier on the sidewalk to pay props to our dead homey. May Poseidon have mercy on your soul.


rashbre said...

I had not heard about this until I read your post and then saw an article on the BBC website.

There are no words.

And Hi Michele sent me today!


Karen said...

Hi. Michele sent me today. I did hear about that radio promotion. That is sadder than words can express. That poor, poor family.

Kids often scare the crap out of us parents. I always say that when they're born, they place a small weight on your shoulder which is sometimes heavy, sometimes light, but always there. Glad there were no bad events in your house! Have a great day!

JMH said...

Wow, yeah, crazy stuff out there (via Michele).

keda said...

i have no idea why, but for the last 2 evenings before bed the lovedove has had hysterics and repeated over and over that she doesn't want to die and when will she die.

its horrible. i give every reassurance i can that we've got way to much to do before we die so it wont be until she's really old, and that when we die nothing hurts anymore and that i'll alwyas be with her. but it's a strange thing. and i wonder where on earth it started.

anyway, it's made me think a lot more about it too.

this is an horrible story.

i'm so glad you discovered the fishtank.

loving the photo and card darlings. thank you.

now take good care.

sage said...

"The classic "pregnant chick in a bikini'" can only be classic on radio! I hate morning radio, I listen to NPR for 30 minutes then put a CD on

jennypenny said...

Holy crap... I had never heard of the Jennifer Strange thing. That is so sad.

Kiss your kiddies a few extra times tonight. Tell them you love them. Tell them that they are safe.

Hearing about that kind of stuff makes me so sad.. Makes me realize how small the bullshit in my life is...

Carrie said...

I read about this somewhere else and are ya stupid? Come on lady, don't you know anything? Can you stop and google, "What would happen if I drink too much water".


jenns_memorial said...

If you would like to donate to the Jennifer Strange Memorial Fund, go to http://www.jennstrange.com. All of the proceeds go straight to the family.