Boinggggggg...

As a product of American television, I've garnered most of my common knowledge from the boob tube. I've learned a little bit from books, but generally, 80% of what I know I learned from television:

• Cats and dogs don't get along.
• Dogs who pal around with stinky hippie types are adept at solving mysteries.
• Keep your feathers numbered for emergencies.

One thing that I find doesn't quite work out in the same way in real life is the head injury. Yes, upon impact you do see stars or birdies fly around your head -- but no. Your head doesn't take the shape of the frying pan... and the bandages don't disappear in the next scene.

Many a time I've seen Tom get his bell rung by Jerry, as a large lump forms on the poor cat's head... tongue hangs out... eyes cross... Fifteen seconds later, he's back on the saddle, using his cunning and wits to try to foil his nemesis.

That's why I can't explain why four days after getting knocked for a loop in a collision with a teammate, I still can't fstohfls think d gdsgdl ylys g clearly and yrthfh feel like sh.. ... ....

What could possibly be the next revelation? Riding a motorcycle and saying "Ayyyyyy" isn't cool? The girls at the Regal Beagle aren't easy? Putting your hand perpendicularly to the edge of your nose isn't the best way to avoid a poke in the eyes?

God, I hope not... If these are true, I'm f*cked.