20.6.07

Gorgon? Zola?

Mrs. P. was kind enough to remind me that we have a baby due in a couple of months.

"I think it's time you started working on the baby room."
"Uh, yeah. I'm on it," I reply.

Actually, I'm fully aware that we're about to complete the trifecta. As the date nears, we're inundated with the questions.

"Do you know what you're having?"

"Yes. A baby," I reply. This is usually followed by a swat to the arm from Mrs. P. as she politely explains that "we're not 'finding out'."

"Do you have names picked out?"

"We don't have the 'boy' name narrowed down, but we might have the girl name picked out."

I usually let the O-Dog handle this inquiry, since he's the one who thought of it.

"If I have a sister, her name is going to be 'Medusa'."

This usually yields a quizzical/ disapproving/ disgusted/ amused/ bewildered look from the person.

The O-Dog bounced that one off of us a few weeks ago, and I'm running with it. Sure, it'd be easier to go with the flow and pump out another Hannah, Emily, Sarah, Madison, Brianna, Kaylee, Kaitlyn, Haley, Alexis or Elizabeth, but what fun would that be?

I thought of some of the situations that would be remedied by the name:

Kindergarten Teacher: (taking attendance) Kaylea? K-Lee? Olivia? Hannah? Jaden? Jayden? Jacob? Olivia? Jacob? Kayleaugh? (zzzzzzz.... zzzzzz....) Oooh. Here's one I haven't come across. Medusa?
Medusa: Present.
Kindergarten Teacher: Hallelujah. Sit up front, kid. I like your moxie. That's a tough name to grow up with.

The precarious teen years:

Pubescent Boy: Jayden, Medusa's looking a little cute these days.
Pubescent Boy #2: Dude... that sounds weird. Let's go hit on Kaylie.

The treacherous high school years:

Salivating Teen:
I think I'm going to ask Medusa out.
Salivating Teen's Friends: Pffffffft. Haww haw haw! Go ahead, bro.
Salivating Teen: Or, uh... maybe you're right. There's always Kaileah.
Salivating Teen's Friends: You might as well. She's dated all of us.

Away at college:
College Kid: Oh... Medusa, baby. you uh.. uhh...
Medusa: What? What????
College Kid: Uh. I can't do this.


If our parenting skills fall short:
Emcee We've got the hottest strippers here at Club Skeezer. Dakota, Madison, Cheyenne, Kayleagh and Medusa!
Patron (whispers to friends) Uh... let's go to another joint.

(Everyone files out)

Club Manager Medusa, we're going to have to let you go.
Medusa Well, I guess I'd better go back to college.

in which case:

College Dean: And graduating Magna Cum Laude with a PhD in Petrification... Medusa.
Prego: WOOOOOHHHH! Yeah! That's my girl!

and years later:

Director of Geology:
Mr. Prego, I would like to ask you for Medusa's hand in marriage.
Prego: I don't know.... What's your name, son?
Director: Uh... Sue.
Prego: Awwwh... Sh*t yeah!. Was your dad a Johnny Cash fan?
"Boy named Sue": Yeah, thank god. My mom wanted to name me Kay-lee.
Prego: Oooh... Now that's cruel. Drink up son. Can I call you Susie?
"Boy named Sue": Sure. Can I call you Pops?
Prego: Don't push your luck.
"Boy named Sue": Sorry.
Prego: Medusa! Break out a bottle of ambrosia! You're getting married.
Medusa: Hurray!


Or then again, we can just go with Kayeleeh.

18 comments:

Carrie said...

I've already got a boy and girl name picked out if I ever killed the bunny or whatever it is.

Savannah Anne-after a porn star.

Aiden Isom-after a soap opera star and Adam's grandfather Isom.

You crack me up!

archshrk said...

Great name choice. We're looking at Olivia or Benjamin - nothing firm.

We don't know our baby's gender yet. When people ask "are you having a boy or girl" I like to answer " I sure hope so" followed by the wifely swat on the arm.

Also, when they ask if we're going to find out, I like to answer "eventually" - swat!

~A~ said...

I just put the US map on the wall and threw darts at it. That's how my kids got their names.

The Turmanators said...

We didn't find out the sex of the Short People. It's just so much better to inform friends and family that "It's a girl!" than to call and say "Katie is here!". I truly loved that moment when the doctor told me (C-section; couldn't see). I think Medusa is lovely; perhaps I could suggest Gorgonzola as a middle name?

Enjoyed your site so much from my Michelle visit that I'm back again!

Annie said...

He he he that's just brilliant! Guess she could keep them all in there place with her 'stony' glare.

Thanks for the giggle.

Here via Michele today.

Tiffany said...

My husband and I had a really hard time picking out names also. In the end he chose Riley, but we spelled it Ryleigh. Now every where you turn you here "Riley come here" Oh well...lol Here via michele

Ramona said...

LOL!
As someone growing up with an unpopular name, I can only say that I'm glad I finally grew into my name and I'm not a Debbie, Sue, Laurie, or Ann.
Very funny post, glad Michele sent me!
~Ramona~

sage said...

that's funny! We didn't have a hard time picking girl names, but boys was another problem, If we'd had a boy, he's still be nameless. As for our boy, we adopted him and at the age of 11, you don't get to name 'em... You also don't have to change diapers. I'm wondering what you'll think when you visit my post from Michele's this evening! :)

scrappintwinmom said...

Your post made me laugh out loud! Here via Michele!
And if you have a boy you can name him John or Bill - anything but Sue! ;)

carli said...

HA!
A couple in New Zealand tried to name their kid 4Real.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2384960.html
And didn't someone name their kid NASCAR a few years ago?

Pearl said...

What an entertaining romp thru possibilities.

David said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gautami said...

Frankly speaking, I like the name medusa!

MIchele says hello along with me!

Carmi said...

Where were you when we were agonizing over kid-names? Oh yes, I wasn't blogging yet. Pity me...you're a breath of fresh air no matter the topic.

Happy painting...I'd help you out if I were a little closer. I'll send happy spirits instead, k?

the beige one said...

May I recommend "Count" for the boy?

AHP said...

See if O-Dog would accept Bethuselah if it's a girl. It's a less lethal female name with the same charm. If it's a boy, then of course Methuselah would work.

Heidi said...

Too funny.

Heidi is always a classic.... ;-)

Cheers!

*Here from Micheles

keda said...

well it totally works for me ;)

you're a man after my own heart obviously.

hough i wanted to know in advance the sex... i'd had enough suprises by the 20th week to last a lifetime.

i've still got plenty of boys and girls names up my sleeves, now i just need the hardware.