Mrs. P. was kind enough to remind me that we have a baby due in a couple of months.
"I think it's time you started working on the baby room."
"Uh, yeah. I'm on it," I reply.
Actually, I'm fully aware that we're about to complete the trifecta. As the date nears, we're inundated with the questions.
"Do you know what you're having?"
"Yes. A baby," I reply. This is usually followed by a swat to the arm from Mrs. P. as she politely explains that "we're not 'finding out'."
"Do you have names picked out?"
"We don't have the 'boy' name narrowed down, but we might have the girl name picked out."
I usually let the O-Dog handle this inquiry, since he's the one who thought of it.
"If I have a sister, her name is going to be 'Medusa'."
This usually yields a quizzical/ disapproving/ disgusted/ amused/ bewildered look from the person.
The O-Dog bounced that one off of us a few weeks ago, and I'm running with it. Sure, it'd be easier to go with the flow and pump out another Hannah, Emily, Sarah, Madison, Brianna, Kaylee, Kaitlyn, Haley, Alexis or Elizabeth, but what fun would that be?
I thought of some of the situations that would be remedied by the name:
Kindergarten Teacher: (taking attendance) Kaylea? K-Lee? Olivia? Hannah? Jaden? Jayden? Jacob? Olivia? Jacob? Kayleaugh? (zzzzzzz.... zzzzzz....) Oooh. Here's one I haven't come across. Medusa?
Kindergarten Teacher: Hallelujah. Sit up front, kid. I like your moxie. That's a tough name to grow up with.
The precarious teen years:
Pubescent Boy: Jayden, Medusa's looking a little cute these days.
Pubescent Boy #2: Dude... that sounds weird. Let's go hit on Kaylie.
The treacherous high school years:
Salivating Teen: I think I'm going to ask Medusa out.
Salivating Teen's Friends: Pffffffft. Haww haw haw! Go ahead, bro.
Salivating Teen: Or, uh... maybe you're right. There's always Kaileah.
Salivating Teen's Friends: You might as well. She's dated all of us.
Away at college:
College Kid: Oh... Medusa, baby. you uh.. uhh...
Medusa: What? What????
College Kid: Uh. I can't do this.
If our parenting skills fall short:
Emcee We've got the hottest strippers here at Club Skeezer. Dakota, Madison, Cheyenne, Kayleagh and Medusa!
Patron (whispers to friends) Uh... let's go to another joint.
(Everyone files out)
Club Manager Medusa, we're going to have to let you go.
Medusa Well, I guess I'd better go back to college.
in which case:
College Dean: And graduating Magna Cum Laude with a PhD in Petrification... Medusa.
Prego: WOOOOOHHHH! Yeah! That's my girl!
and years later:
Director of Geology: Mr. Prego, I would like to ask you for Medusa's hand in marriage.
Prego: I don't know.... What's your name, son?
Director: Uh... Sue.
Prego: Awwwh... Sh*t yeah!. Was your dad a Johnny Cash fan?
"Boy named Sue": Yeah, thank god. My mom wanted to name me Kay-lee.
Prego: Oooh... Now that's cruel. Drink up son. Can I call you Susie?
"Boy named Sue": Sure. Can I call you Pops?
Prego: Don't push your luck.
"Boy named Sue": Sorry.
Prego: Medusa! Break out a bottle of ambrosia! You're getting married.
Or then again, we can just go with Kayeleeh.