Putting On the Foil...

This Sunday morning at 5.12 a.m. the following conversation ensued between me and a 'crackhead-y looking couple' as I loaded my hockey gear into my sh*twagon:

Crackhead-y Guy: W'sup.
Me: 'Zup.
Crackhead-y Lady: Is you a hockey player?
Me: Yeah.
Crackhead-y Lady: You go, boy.

I grinned as I got in my car at having gotten my first bona fide "You go, boy" from an actual African-American, but was somewhat perplexed that such a sentiment was conveyed, given the fact that most brothers could give two sh*ts about hockey. Maybe she was just impressed that some dumb-f*ck would actually wake up at the un-godliest of hours to go play a f*cking sport. The only people awake that early on a Sunday morning are the drunk hussies walking home after getting their asses slapped by some sh*theel frat-boy, or the losers who waited around to see if the ugly 'last girl left at the bar' would throw them a bone... and of course, the aforementioned crackhead-y types and me with my gear.

I made it to the rink, wiping the Rice Krispies out of the corner of my eyes and wondering if I had answered Crackhead-y Lady honestly. I mean, I have all the (foul smelling) equipment and I actually participate in the activity at least twice a week, but skill-wise... I'm on the low end of mediocre. What makes me a hockey player?

As I skated that morning, going through what have become nearly rote motions I realized that, regardless of the bonehead plays, getting burnt by crafty forwards and missed passes to the point, I am a goddamned hockey player. Otherwise I'd still be asleep in the comfort of my own bed, farting as I roll over (to the chagrin of my wife) and avoiding the unpleasantries of hockey pucks to unprotected areas, sticks across my forearm and of course, my stinky hockey gear.

Thank you, Crackhead-y Lady, for pointing that out.


~A~ said...

You're such a good man for getting up at 0-dark-30 to give your wife a couple hours of stink free sleep.

Prego said...

I make up for it during breakfast.

Plain Jane said...

Every single solitary time I see or hear crackhead I think of the movie 12 Monkeys. I leave it to you to figure out.

Kari said...

Oh, how sweet, a *couple*

Nice that you learned a lesson from that CrackheadyLady.

Way to own up to your stinkitude!

keda said...

(grimaces at the thought of the stinkies at breakfast) sports equipment ugh. i'm so glad i'm single.

Carmi said...

The simple act of getting out there makes you a hockey player.

I often have similar thoughts as I roll my oh-so-manly pink bike onto the pre-dawn street, cursing the whole time that I'm too stupid to stay in freakin' bed and sleep in.

But out I go because the little voice in my head says I don't want to end up a fat, crackhead ho in a parking lot, bugging the crap out of real folks who really DO want to get something more out of life than a hit from a bong.

Oops, overdid it there, didn't I? Regardless, I'm thinking of you the next time my tires hit the road. For real, dude!

Maryanne said...

Conversing with the crackheads and in their lingo no less. I'll bet her comment had more to do with your stick than you realize! Kudos for being alive at that hour, I'm still comotosing in my sheets. What's your position, I'll bet your a defenseman?

glomgold said...

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