Tag Nabbit!

Mary Tsao of Mom Writes tagged me. I guess proper etiquette dictates that I comply, ergo -

Five Things in My Closet
1. A small mountain of clean clothes that my wife keeps bugging me to put on hangers - she won't because she doesn't love me as much as my mother used to.
2. An oxygen tank to remember the aforementioned mother. She had some f*cked up disease that caused her to be on a respirator for the last two years of her life. I kept a tank at home for her visits. It's still there.
3. A couple of cool leather jackets awaiting September.
4. Running shoes, dying of neglect.
5. That dreaded iron.

Five Things in the Fridge
1. The essentials.
2. A couple of coagulated stains that need to be scraped off.
3. Some dried-up leftover raviolis
4. A bottle of vodka
5. (I just took a look and wish I hadn't) A forgotten bowl of soup that grew a nice grey wool coat in order to shield itself from the frigid temperature.

Five Things in My Sh*twagon
1. A large bag of malodorous hockey equipment that I was too f*cking lazy tired to take out last night.
2. A dented can of deck stain that I've been dreading to put to use.
3. A five-pack of paint brushes with which to use #2.
4. A few week to month old copies of the New York Times
5. The decapitated head of one of those jiggly, dashboard hula dancers.

Five Things in My Wallet
1. A Martini Madness menu from a sh*tty suburban bar (in order to steal ideas for a similarly themed party later this month).
2. To quote one of my favourite films, "Two Dollars."
3. A hockey card of some sh*theel defenceman named Rostislav Klesla, given to me by a student two years ago.
4. A library card... It's cheaper than the bookstores and Blockbuster video.

5. This picture of my favourite rock stars:

Five People I'm Tagging:
Zinedine Zidane
Luis Figo
David Beckham
Gianluigi Buffon
Fabien Barthez


Pickalish said...

That paint color is the exact same shade that I have in the dining room. Love it.....

Kari said...

OMG that was hilarious.

Atul said...

Those tags are an easy way to end the tagging. I wonder if any of those players have their own blogs.

Mary Tsao said...

You're so funny... and a good sport, too.

The picture is great. Those two will be keeping you up at night from now until they leave home. Unfortunately, you will have nobody to blame but yourself.

keda said...

figo and buffon obviously still live with their mamas so along with the alice bands in their closets and the meatballs in their fridges kept on ice for the day they might actually use some their mamas would be the best people to ask.

becks has a louis vuitton. never say wallet or he may cry.

and you should know better than to mess with zidane and barthes by now man.

love the rock stars :)

Dave said...

That's some list! You'll have to explain to Beckham what a blog is, oh and probably a computer too!

kontan said...

We've been on vacation. The car is trashed, the house isn't any better, and I don't know wth is growing in the frig.

too amusing...