Five Things in My Closet
1. A small mountain of clean clothes that my wife keeps bugging me to put on hangers - she won't because she doesn't love me as much as my mother used to.
2. An oxygen tank to remember the aforementioned mother. She had some f*cked up disease that caused her to be on a respirator for the last two years of her life. I kept a tank at home for her visits. It's still there.
3. A couple of cool leather jackets awaiting September.
4. Running shoes, dying of neglect.
5. That dreaded iron.
Five Things in the Fridge
1. The essentials.
2. A couple of coagulated stains that need to be scraped off.
3. Some dried-up leftover raviolis
4. A bottle of vodka
5. (I just took a look and wish I hadn't) A forgotten bowl of soup that grew a nice grey wool coat in order to shield itself from the frigid temperature.
Five Things in My Sh*twagon
1. A large bag of malodorous hockey equipment that I was too f*cking
2. A dented can of deck stain that I've been dreading to put to use.
3. A five-pack of paint brushes with which to use #2.
4. A few week to month old copies of the New York Times
5. The decapitated head of one of those jiggly, dashboard hula dancers.
Five Things in My Wallet
1. A Martini Madness menu from a sh*tty suburban bar (in order to steal ideas for a similarly themed party later this month).
2. To quote one of my favourite films, "Two Dollars."
3. A hockey card of some sh*theel defenceman named Rostislav Klesla, given to me by a student two years ago.
4. A library card... It's cheaper than the bookstores and Blockbuster video.
5. This picture of my favourite rock stars:
Five People I'm Tagging: