Allergies. Allergies. Allergies Here and There....

Back in my day, there was one kid in every neighborhood missing a limb. Usually it was some dumb ass kid f*cking around on the train tracks that rolled through our town. There was the occasional chipped tooth kid, victim of an errant baseball and an epileptic or two hittin' the deck in gym class. Broken arms from dropping 13' from a tree branch was a frequent occurrence, as was road pizza from spilling on our bikes.

If there's one thing I don't remember about my generation are all the wussy-ass allergies that are ubiquitous these days. I know. I know... I should thank the heavens I have two healthy allergy-free kids.

Anyway, the snack list on the O-Dog's soccer team kindly requested that we pick snacks that take into consideration some of the players' allergies. I know for a fact that one of the O-Dog's buddies is allergic to chocolate. Peanuts, for some goddamned reason, are a pretty common one too. I walked up and down the aisles, ruling out granola, M & M's and anything dairy.

Bingo. Those 'fruit snacks' seem pretty harmless. A couple of ten packs of juice boxes will do, too.

I cart the O-Dog and the Fletchmonster to the soccer field and watch the O-Dog run around aimlessly for an hour... Game ends and it's time to dole out the snacks.

Little Girl: Um... Excuse me. What's in these?
Prego: Fruit, honey. They're fruit snacks.
Little Girl: But what kind? I'm allergic to strawberries.
Prego: (Jesus, kid. What the f*ckscicles?) Uh, go ask your mommy if those are okay. Here. Take a juice box, too.
Little Girl: Thank you.

Just then, a grizzled, one armed 5 year old with one eye, stictches across his cheek and chipped baby teeth approached me...

Prego: Here, kid. Take the whole f*cking bag.

He scratched his hair, pounded on his chest and grunted "Thanks."

Now that's my kind of kid.


~A~ said...

And don't forget items that are processed on equipment or in a factory that processes allergens.

I have several friends that have kids with peanut allergies ranging from one that we think has outgrown it but she's being a wimp to getting her finger pricked (I'll come back to this) to one who breaks out from just being in contact with a kid who had a PB&J.

I never thought it odd to watch out of such allergens since I like to watch for other evil things like HFCS and soy. But I did think it's weird how there seems to be more food allergy kids then there were 25 years ago.

I have wondered if it's the diet we pregnant mothers eat that are causing children to be more sensitive to certain foods. I personally don't eat a lot of canned or processed foods, but I know some mom's who eat a lot of that crap and their kids have a laundry list of allergies.

Carrie said...

You know what pisses me off? Commenting on your blog to discover that Blogger ate it. (Maybe Blogger is allergic to me.)

Anyway, allergies suck and I don't know how people get them. Nothing makes me sick.

keda said...

i dunno... i had a strict diet of sausage rolls, cream cakes, blue cheese, liver pate and sushi washed down with a bottle of stout almost every night of my pregnancy and the lets are as strong as brick sh*thouses. i didn't even manage to do em in whilst drinking and sneeking the odd fag whilst breastfeeding so i'd say toughen up in utero personally.

the few friends i've got who's kids do have allergies are very very superdooper healthy eaters. booooooringly so.

we also strongly abide by the 5 minute rule of, if your food falls on the floor you can still eat in unless you can see poo, snail goo or a footprint in it.

i am however still trying to convince the lets that they are allergic to horses. for my own reasons though.. and it has nothing to do with sneezing or rashes (other than nettle).