2.2.07

Outstanding Visual of the Week

No, it wasn't a tired old thong.

(Actually, I wish it had been.)

I took the O-Dog to school on Wednesday and, as we approached, we saw the familiar faces of Mr. G and Ms. M greeting kids out in front. There was an unfamiliar figure coming up the street. What's cool about my neighbourhood is that once you walk south on Elmwood Avenue and pass Bryant Street you start seeing more and more people with missing limbs and teeth and sh*t. It's quite entertaining. Most of them are regular fixtures. This guy wasn't.

He seemed to have all his appendages intact.

All the visible ones, anyway.

Our 'hero' approaches the two teachers and asks Ms. M to hold his coffee. She politely complies, as our protagonist begins to pull up his shirt. I'm sure at this point she's thinking, "Aw, @*$#. He's going to take out his mangy, street-person unit and take a leak all over the side of the school building." But, no.

While the O-Dog and I came closer, I saw that the gentleman was in fact doing was 'tightening' a white fabric around his waist. I couldn't conceal my amusement as I walked past Mr. G and commented, "I love this town." Mr. G kept rubbing his face, looking off into the street to avoid laughing. I overheard the homes, saying something about losing weight and something about a belt.

I dropped the O-Dog off in his classroom and headed back outside, and our resourceful paragon of destitution had disappeared in the distance.

Prego: Sorry about that. I didn't make it any easier for you to keep a straight face.
Mr. G: That's all right. I wouldn't have been able to anyways.
Prego: What the heck was he using for a belt?
Ms. M: A sock.
Prego: That's rich. I was kind of hoping it was an extension cord.

I cinched the dog leash tightly around my waist and bid my adieu, as I headed to the dumpster to find my breakfast.

I love this town. Indeed.

5 comments:

Mr. Althouse said...

Never a dull moment - what with all the interesting people we meet everyday...

Michele sent me,

Mike

Carrie said...

Nothing ever happens around here. Every once and awhile we will have a meth mouth walk in front of the office having a conversation with a god or something.

sage said...

good grief, it's been at least a dozen years since I've been on Elmwood Ave in that fine city of yours and I can only imagine that urban renewal hasn't caught on yet... enjoyed reading this slice of life from the city

Sophie T. Mishap said...

Back in my day, the city was full of people who didn't make eye contact much less talk to each other. ;)

...Once there were parking lots
Now it's a peaceful oasis
you got it, you got it

This was a Pizza Hut
Now it's all covered with daisies
you got it, you got it

I miss the honky tonks,
Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens
you got it, you got it...

Carmi said...

The street people in your burg sound infinitely more interesting than the street people in mine.

Wanna export a few? Maybe have an exchange, to boost international relations.