Homo, Homo on the Range...

Homophobes rejoice.

You've got a new addition to your already abundant lexicon. Feel free to add BROKEBACK to your repertoire of taunt and intolerance.

(click on comic to enlarge)

Granted, Hollywood and televsion have been a good, steady source of catchphrases, lingo and jargon:

"What'choo talkin'bout?"
"Where's the beef?"
"Show me the money!"
"Fair is FAIR!"

Especially for the homoerotic

"Best Boy"
"Where's the beef?"

None of you, however, expected BROKEBACK. It was a freebie... kind of like getting the extra Twix bar from the break room vending machine. A small group of you actually saw the film, either at the arm of a fawning female, gushing over how brave Ledger and Gyllenhaal were to have undertaken such a role, or wearing a fake beard and sunglasses.

Most of you could care less about watching two 'fellas' donning cowboy hats giving each other the reach-around while drinking a $4.50 small soda and a $3.75 bag of saturated popcorn. The media and your girlfriends have saved you the trouble by singing the praises of the "gay cowboy" movie, so fear not. You needen't watch it to join in on the cavalcade of slurs and 'in you end-o'.

Here then are several novel uses for the term. Let's begin with the obvious "Mountain" variations. You may precede these with, "He's:"

"a Brokeback Mountaneer"
"a Brokeback Mountain Ranger"
"a Brokeback Mountain Climber"
"climbing, camping on or scaling Brokeback Mountain"
"Skiing Brokeback Mountain"
(which you can follow up with an accompanying 'ski pole' reference while miming the action with your hand)

Then, "He's"
"on Brokeback Park patrol"
"a stunt double on Brokeback Mountain"
"Sending out Brokeback Mountain Postcards for Valentine's day"
"Hitchiking to Brokeback Mountain"
or "Is he the Yogi or the Boo Boo in that Brokeback National Park?"
"Did you hear about Jack? He got all Brokeback after high school."

The possibilities are endless.
"Dude, lose the cowboy hat. You look like the Brokeback guy in the Village People."
"Kenny Chesney: The Brokeback Tour."

A homophobic father's dilemma
"Um... honey. About Jr.? I think he's got a little Brokeback in him."

Lover's spat?
"Looks like a shoot-out at the Brokeback Corral"
"(Crackle) Attention all units. We have reports of a domestic at 123 Brokeback Street."

Casual observer?
"Look... those two dudes are going Brokeback on each other."
"Tres Brokeback. All they're missing are the spurs and the hats,"
though throwing in the French is a little Brokeback.
"Oooh... Patrons from the Brokeback Saloon."

Lowbrow and drunk:
"Hey Brokeback... (burrrp) Come on over here sssho I can (hic) kick yer ass."

Highbrow and drunk:
"I don't know if it's the Cosmopolitans talking, (hiccup) but I'm feeling a little Brokeback vibe from Professor Wiggins. I might just be drunk enough."

"He's the starting wide receiver for the Brokeback Mountain Lions."
Over-affectionate pal?
"Dude, it's just a game. Don't get all f*cking Brokeback on me."

"Was Justin Timberlake in the "Broke'street Boys or New Kids on the Block?"

And finally, the subtle...
"Sniff-Sniff. Is that Stetson or Brokeback?"

You can devise your own permutations ad nauseum. It seems to be the latest rage, regardless of your orientation. Unfortunately, Boys Don't Cry didn't serve the same purpose for the ladies. Personal Best also failed to yield good results.


kenju said...

Toooo funny! I saw the cartoon, but I didn't realize how many permutations of the title there would be!

Wenchy said...

Ahhhhhhhhh I think my windswept and exotic self still needs to see the movie... you know.. for educational purposes.

kenju said...

Bringin da love from Michele's, prego!

Shane said...

I suppose the porno version will be "Bareback Mountain"

Michele sent me

Dawn Falcone said...

Pretty, pretty funny. Hi from Michele.

Nienke said...

Hello, Michele sent me. Didn't expect such a good laugh!

Megan said...

I love The Boondocks!

Excuse me, I'm getting all brokeback over here. *sniffs*

Hi - Michele sent me!

~A~ said...

Very funny Prego. I can always come here and know that I will increase my vocab by one word.

I wonder what my brokeback-brother is up to?

Is that right? Did I use it correctly?

It's hard to tell since we're still not all that sure about Rob with his karaoke and Runway Project.

angela marie said...

I have actually heard some people using the term already.

Here we go!

Hi and Michele sent me!!

thegoodgeeks said...

I know a lot of women who are excited to see that movie to fufill some fantisies. Not me. LOL

Michele sent me.

Prego said...


"Brokeback brother" is an acceptable use of the term. Well done.

However, there is nothing "Brokeback" about Karaoke, unless your repertoire includes The Trolley Song, The Love theme from 'A Star is Born' or anything by Rob Thomas. Runway does register a reading on the Brokeback detector... to the untrained eye anyway.

Rockchild said...

What was this post about again? Something about a broken back, just hope this person got medical attention!

Hi, Michele sent me!

Have a nice weekend, Prego!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

There will be a lot of laughs coming from that movie!

Michele sent me.

netchick said...

Halarious! :) Thanks for the smile.

Here from Michele's!

pantrygirl said...

Hello, Michele sent me!

Honestly, there isn't an equivalent for lesbians that I can think of. Perhaps, Hollywood will take a page from Walking the Line and rework Brokeback with two female leads.

KaraMia said...

people love to make up slang...it's a sad sad thing..lol
Here iva micheles today

Maria said...

You can laugh or cry. I choose to laugh and will see the movie if it ever comes to our small town. Here by way of Michele.

Claire said...

Such an hilarious post! I'm crying with laughter at the things you've come up with!

kdubs said...

Michelle sent me! Have a great weekened :)


OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I have nothing to say except Michele sent me today.

jude said...

i saw the spoof movie trailer "broke back to the future" at ifilm.com...pretty funny! here via michele's.

mar said...

I saw the movie yesterday. A love story that truly touched my heart, but I am that way. Michele sent me.

utenzi said...

Michele sent me, Prego.

I'm not about to go see Brokeback Mountain. I avoid most movies that would depress me. Few things are harder on the emotions than a failed romance. I really liked Personal Best but it didn't end with such tragedy.

One thing I've been somewhat dismayed about is the hoopla about having iconic cowboys having a gay relationship. Way back when many of the men working cattle and sheep would see no women for months at a time. I'd expect male-male sex wasn't such a rare thing. Y'know?

Prego said...

Very good point, Ute. Homosexuality has been around since oxygen. It is kind of a pity that people can't accept that fact.

WendyWings said...

Here from Micheles have a good weekend.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A great laugh!

Michele sent me here.

Karen said...

That's one of my favorite cartoons. Hilarious!

I'm going to see Brokeback on Tuesday because I want to know what all the fuss is about. I'm looking forward to it!

Michele sent me!

Chas Ravndal said...

its pretty funny and new word in addition as well.

Michele sent me!

AverageMom said...

Good morning, Prego. Haven't seen the movie, due to having children tied to my leg, but as soon as it's out on DVD I'll be renting it! Of course, Hubby won't watch. It is, after all, two guys. So totally different from two women, apparently.

Shannon said...

hey michele sent me today!
Love the brokeback post....its so very- umm whats the word? oh brokeback..

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