11.2.06

Minneapolis Woman Thwarts Buffalonian's Writers' Block

You have EverydaySuperGoddess to thank for preventing yet another sh*tty post by yours truly. I mean literally shitty. As the two or three regular readers know, somehow I've managed to have a recurring fecal theme here. The only thing I had brewing, before I got tagged was an expose on encopresis, which is something I discovered a couple students at my school apparently suffer from. Toucan Sam would have probably passed out if he'd encountered these kids.

Thank goodness we won't have to go into details. Instead, I'll comply with Ms. SuperGoddess' kind request for personal disclosure.

I have been put to work in the following capacities:
Photo Lab Technician - The advent of digital photography has since spared thousands of similarly employed individuals from gazing at the shriveled nutsacks and floppy breasts of Ma and Pa pornstars.
Phone Jockey for several lending institutions - The only thing I personally culled from this gig is a wife and a severe dislike for phone conversations, telemarketers and lending institutions.
Fish gutter - Repeatedly inserting a sharp blade into the orifice of thousands of salmon and removing the innards is a nice alternative to phone jockeying... particularly when coupled with copious alcohol, marijuana and college girls thousands of miles from home.
Pedagogue Extraordinaire - This is my current money-making scam, and source of 90% of my amusement.

Hooray for Crappywood X 4:
Barfly - Almost makes me wish I was a boozer.
The Princess Bride - The chick-flickesque title of this film and novel undoubtedly robbed it of a masculine fanbase at its onset, but word of mouth and a perpetual cable run has fortunately rescued it from the jaws of Beaches and Fried Steel Petunias.
The Kids are Alright - My four-year old's a big Keith Moon fan...
Drugstore Cowboy - I haven't had a hat on my bed in years.

Four or so Towns I've had a crib at:
Buffalo, NY
Maracaibo, Venezuela
Puerto Ordaz & Guri, Venezuela
Punto Fijo, Venezuela
Chicago, IL
Valdez, AK

Four Television Shows I love(d):
Keeping Up Appearances
Fawlty Towers
Hockey Night in Canada/Buffalo Sabres Broadcasts
GEICO commercials


Four pretentious books that I'll name in a feeble attempt to impress, though I haven't had time to read much since my boys were born:
The Odyssey - Attempts to read the Iliad have failed... but I'll get to it eventually.
Beowulf - (Grendel's mother's got nothing on my wife when she gets a little pissed.)
Post Office -by Charles Bukowski
Boy: Tales of Childhood - by Roald Dahl

* Honourable Mentions
I Had Trouble in Getting To Solla Sollew
Goodnight Gorilla
In the Night Kitchen
And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street



Four Places I've Vacationed:
London/Paris/Brussels/Amsterdam/Liverpool - A credit card put to good use.
Puerto La Cruz, Venezuela - You could actually see the fish swimming from the boat, and freely serve alcohol to minors.
Quebec City, QC - Mon Dieu!
L.A. (Pew.)

Four websites I visit...
Yahoo! Fantasy Sports
Blogs
... whatever else I need to read.

Four Foods I Love Ingesting
Duck. Daffy, Donald, Disco... I love you all.
Pasta with Puttanesca Sauce
Anything that hottie Giada DeLaurentiis is making.
Anything that hottie my wife makes that isn't of the casserole ilk.

Four people that I am prompting to participate in this activity:
Bitchet
BlogHog
Eve
Shannon

4 comments:

Bitchet said...

You can't tag me, I was "safe".

Plain Jane said...

*snicker* Gotta love the four.

EverydaySuperGoddess said...

I'm so glad I could help!

Fawlty Towers. Niiiice.

Jeff said...

I guess i missed your request to participate while I was away ... guess you'll have to catch me next time